No shoes, no date, no problem

Ana Gutierrez, Entertainment Editor

Having trouble finding the perfect homecoming date? Do not worry, you are not alone. Aside from those annoying couples that date for ages, finding a homecoming date has become the challenge of the century. This year, however, you do not have to stress over who your date will be.

No balloons or rubber ducky’s are required—only your name and your willingness to test the waters. The cheerleading squad is more than likely running out of colored posters and paint by now.

The app, titled “Matchmaking: Homecoming Edition,” will ask a few questions that cover your basic contact information. A licensing agreement must be approved to launch the app, but the content is irrelevant considering that no one reads those, anyway. By clicking “I Accept” you will be agreeing to more than just a set of rules. You will be accepting that being date-less is simply an opportunity to enjoy what is out there.

It will rate your date-ability according to your dancing skills, height, level of awkwardness, and more. The system does not pair up individuals through similarity alone. It links attributes together so they complement each other rather than match likeness. We would not want to burden an average-height girl with the guarantee of being matched up with an irregularly short boy.  After submitting your answers, the system will use your personal schedule and your date’s to plan a meeting date before the day of the dance.

Of course, if the person selected does not strike your interest, you can click the handy “undate” button on the top right of the screen to cancel the match without notifying the rejected date.

Despite the appearance that most students have found their other half, the majority of the student body is still single and ready to mingle. Although statistical facts were hard to find since those lacking dates prefer to remain silent, a number of students answered if they remained anonymous.

The polls conducted show that only 12 out of 100 students have dates to the dance, and eight  of those 12 people are just going as friends. This opens up a wide market for potential matches by increasing the sample size of the date-less population.

After years of spending hours on hair and millions on outfits, homecoming has become easy.

Critics have accused the app of destroying formalities such as chivalry and courting. America, we are in the 21st century. If you can book a doctor’s appointment online you might as well book your date. Mums are optional, worrying is unacceptable, and a good time is guaranteed.