Moving forward after a loss

Sofia Guevara, staff writer

I remember the overwhelming helplessness I felt and the cloudless sky, an aqua blue that felt too calm, too normal. It was too beautiful to be an August day. But, it was in the midst of all this when I laid paralyzed, sobbing and pleading for my reality to be just a bad dream. Because hours before, my dad had walked out of my front door, taking with him all of the certainty, all of the protection of my household.

Nothing could fill the void that was painfully apparent.

I was unprepared, and definitely uncertain of my father’s intentions to abandon my family and me. At the time, being left behind by a role model and friend was unimaginable to a thirteen-year-old daddy’s girl like me. This only intensified my pain and shock. I could not help but replay bits and pieces of the event, searching for what went wrong.

It was supposed to be a normal day, but the obstacle that lay before me, separated me from what I tried to cling to as normal. There was no way of going back.

My naive initial reaction after the impact was to build up a stone wall to keep me from feeling the betrayal, resentment, and inexplicable sadness of being left behind. Each day for a year, I carried a brick and added it to the endless wall. But this could not go on forever. When the wall got too tall to overcome and I could not continue, I broke. I allowed myself to feel the rush of emotions. I embraced each inch of pain with a belief that it was time to acknowledge the events that had occurred and let go of my false indifference.

After breaking down the walls and self-built defenses I had built, I began to make new discoveries, and a newfound maturity took over. I learned new things about myself and found my voice. I was able to overcome the obstacle placed in front of me because I had been challenged. Instead of dwelling on the events that altered my path, I decided to build bridges. I put the pain behind me and accepted my new path. This event is now not just a bad memory, but a foundation from which I draw inspiration for all aspects of my life.

Today, I can say that everything, even the painful experience, has worked out to refine me into the person I am and the person I will be. The only thing to do in situations like these is to learn to adjust and let time help you let go of the resentment and let in new possibilities.

When an injury takes place, such as a cut in the skin or a break in the bones occur, cells at the edges of the injury are stimulated to divide rapidly. This action produces new cells, starting the process of healing. When the healing process nears completion the rate of the cell division slows down, controls on growth are restored and you grow stronger. Because of my injury, I am stronger.