The votes are counted, the results are in, and we have a final answer. After months of constantly following the presidential candidates’ every move, we finally know who will be running the country for the next four years. President Obama has been reelected to the presidency.
Like many others, I have been struck with an absence of purpose now that the elections are over. What now? What can I do with my free time now that I can’t sit at home all day watching the latest attack advertisements? How will I have fun on the weekend if I can’t watch pundits interpret the same polls to mean entirely different things for six hours each day? Quite simply, without the presidential race to keep me busy, I’m bored.
That is why I propose that we pass a Constitutional amendment to hold a presidential election every month.
Presidential elections would be held on the first Tuesday of every month, and presidents would be sworn in on the third Tuesday of every month. I’m not sure how this would affect the economy or social issues or the solvency of the American political system, but I am absolutely sure that it would be entertaining.
I realize that it may cause a few problems if a president’s term is 24 times shorter than a Congressman’s term and 72 times shorter than a Senator’s term. Law making just would not be as effective with such out of sync election cycles. However, the solution here is simple. Hold an election for the House every two weeks and an election for Senators every six weeks. After all, we wouldn’t want to leave them out of all the fun.
Not convinced that the entertainment is worth the constant campaigning? Here are just a few more reasons why we should hold twelve presidential elections each year. We would be able to slim down our list of Facebook friends- after all, who hasn’t deleted at least a dozen friends online after being annoyed by their constant political statuses? People who barely miss the 18-year-old age limit for voting would several more chances each year. We’d have an excuse to see Karl Rove’s face more often, which is always a treat. Lobbyists, having to work 48 times faster than usual in presidential elections, would all die of stress-induced heart attacks. The Koch brothers would be penniless in a year. With all the campaigning necessary to effectively win support in just a month’s time, it would be easy to get volunteer hours on the campaign trail.
The economy would be stimulated by the jobs created by the constant election cycle, revitalizing American competitiveness in the international market. Unless China is willing to cycle through new presidents every day, America would gain an economic edge. 60 percent of American jobs would likely become political analysis. And if I just fabricated that statistic with no exact factual basis, it’s only because it’s in the spirit of the election season.
In the end, elections are some of the most unifying forces of the American political system. Once every four years, rich or poor, black or white, north or south, east coast or Bible belt, our entire nation comes together to shout at each other about why everybody else is wrong. Is it so terrible to want to see that happen more often? I don’t think so. There’s nothing more American than baseball, apple pie, and political vitriol. The elections are over for now. We can only hope that they’ll be back again soon.
